So much had changed

Wow, so much has changed since I posted last.

I left the hot dog job after 11 years and now I'm a manager at a photo job. Yep... I've taken a full-time photography job. No, I haven't given up on court reporting, but I have to earn a living while I wait between tests. So, not only have I left the comfort of the hot dog job, I'm actually the boss at the new job.

To tell the truth, I never wanted to be the boss anywhere. I like being a worker bee. However, one thing I've learned as I've looked for a full time job is that I'm over-qualified to just be the worker bee anymore. So, now I'm the manager and I get to learn how to be a boss and run a studio and manage labor and hours and all that stuff.

Beyond the new job, not much is new. Kitties and I still hanging in there. Hopefully now that I'm back to one job, I'll be in the blogosphere more often and keep everyone updated with my ever so exciting life.

And I really want to go back?

I came home from the Panhandle with a yucky surprise... allergies or maybe a cold. I guess some crop must have been doing something (likely corn) and on Monday morning I woke up with a sore throat, stuffy ears and an alternately runny/stuffy nose. Oh yeah. I just keep thinking... and I really want to move back to that? Well, yes, actually I do, but I just don't look forward to that part of it. I'm much better by today. It's amazing what Allegra and ibuprofen can do for you.

In other news: Officially I have only 2 days after today at my job. Boss is at the Home Office this week, traveling next week, and on vacation the week after. Since I'm being re-hired to work part time, it is kind-of anticlimactic. I sent a sneaky e-mail yesterday letting everyone know that my "replacement" had been found and that she's wonderful and helpful and that they would notice little to no change other than "she" would only be at the office part time.

I will have to now quit the photo job. I'm a little sad about that, but it came down to economics -- $14.50 an hour or $9.00 an hour -- and having Saturday and Sunday off. Mainly, I wanted to have Sunday off. I miss going to church... I miss the fellowship of being part of a church family.

Anyway, I'm excited. This change is going to be for the best and it isn't REALLY that huge of a change (or so I keep telling myself). I will have the time and most importantly the energy to devote to school and can speed up my progress considerably because I will not be exhausted and brain dead when I "go" to school. I am so looking forward to being able to practice and build speed and getting out of school.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

I have been struggling to juggle school and two jobs for quite a while now. The further I've gotten in school and the closer to qualifying for the state CSR exam, the more stressful and frustrating it has become.

Since December, I've been biding my time waiting for Boss to close the office and lay me off... waiting for a severence package to hopefully carry me through until I finished school. It all came to a dramatic and teary peak last Friday. Boss told me that the office isn't closing, and my job will remain as a part time position. By my job remaining, I'm not eligible for severence or unemployment benefits but, and here's the kicker, I can't afford to stay on a part-time basis.

So, you may wonder how I'm going to swing it without a job? I'm going to "invest" my 401(k) into me. It's not making me any money in this economy, but if I cash it out (and yes, I know it's 20% in taxes and a 10% penalty for early withdrawl) and use it to live on for the next 4-5 months, I should be okay. I figure it will at least then be earning me money in the long run when I finish school because I'll be able to afford to rebuild it and build on it. Besides, it's not like I'm going to go buy a boat with the money!

There is a CSR exam being given in September. I figure if I quit my job now and really concentrate on qualifying to take the exam for the three weeks between the end of my job and the qualify-by date in mid August and then really hit it hard for the September 27 exam, I'm sure to pass. If I don't (a) qualify or (b) pass the exam, there is another one being given in January, and I will pass that one.

So, the girl who despises change of any kind and will hold on to the status quo until her fingers fall off is jumping into change with both feet and no net. I'm truly terrified. I'm also excited. I guess you could say I'm terri-cited! Nah, don't say that. It sounds silly.

Stress? What stress?

How many people want to not have to go to work at their current job ever again? I see most people out there nodding in agreement. I figured I would get quite a few who would see themselves in that question.

Now try these on for size: How many people's bosses mentioned in December during their annual review that their office *might* be closing at the end of the fiscal year? How many people's bosses have yet to mention it again, yet the company's Henchman is calling the office returning Boss' calls? How many people have a boss that says things today like "if you hear from {insert leasing company name here} let me know because I need to see if they're going to leave the rent the same." leading me to believe he's now NOT planning to close the office?

Oh, just me?

Add to all of that the fact that I need to be qualified for the machine portion of the state CSR (Certified Shorthand Reporter) exam by the middle of August that is going to be given at the end of September and it's getting pretty darn close to the middle of July! The online school has also added hours to the weekly requirements and the instructor has taken away some of the "cheater" hours we used to have and isn't giving us as much hourly credit for other things. The result of those two things is I have to come up with an extra 5-6 hours a week in my already too tight schedule. No pressure there.

It is really odd to consider the fact that I really WANT/NEED Boss to close the office and lay me off. To be honest, it makes financial sense for the company to do so. With the changes that they've made in recent months, this entire fiscal year, really, my job is no longer actually necessary because the sales reps can either do the presentations/research by themselves or just call the Marketing Department to do it for them since there is a whole section of people there to do it for them. I'm redundent as it stands now. I even already have a plan as to how I would spend my day being "unemployed." Now I just need Boss to pull the trigger and fire me already (but give me a good severence package) so I can get it all done.

In the mean time, my schedule looks something like this on weekdays:

• 6:30 a.m. Get up and start my day
• 7:30 a.m. Leave for work
• 8:00 a.m. Arrive at work and start to "look busy"
• 10:30 a.m. Finish actual work I need to get done for the day (sometimes the week)
• 11:30 a.m. Go to my 30 minute lunch
• 12:30 p.m. Return from my 30 minute lunch to continue to look busy and hope that there's something for me to do all afternoon.
• 4:30 p.m. Leave for home
• 5:00 p.m. Arrive home to relax/clean/feed the cats/do laundry/take care of anything that needs to be done before I "go" to school
• 5:30 p.m. Start school (this used to be at 6:00, but I had to move it up 30 minutes because of the additional hour a day requirement)
• 10:00 p.m. Stop and "come home" from school and finish relaxing/cleaning/feed the cats again/doing laundry/taking care of anything I didn't get done before school (this used to be 9:30 until the additional hours requirement)
• Somewhere between 11:00p.m. and 1:00 a.m., I generally go to bed and hopefully go to sleep.

My weekend schedule:
Sat:

• 9:00 a.m. Get up
• 9:30 a.m. Leave for work at Photo Job
• 10:00 a.m. Arrive at Photo Job and prepare myself to 'act a fool' all day in order to make small children smile and capture the essence of said children
• Somewhere between 1:00 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. I get off of work. If I get off early enough, I go home and take a sweet, sweet nap. If it is after around 3:00, I go home and "go" to school again to make up for any hours I missed during the week and to complete my Saturday hours.
• Between 10:30 and 11:00, I go to bed

Sun:

• 9:00 a.m. Get up, try to do a Bible Study of some sort
• 10:00 a.m. Get ready for Photo Job
• 10:30 a.m. Leave for Photo Job
• 11:00 a.m. Arrive at Photo Job and prepare myself to 'act a fool' all day in order to make small children smile and capture the essence of said children
  Somewhere between 1:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. I get off of work, go home and finish up any missing school hours and get weekly log turned in
• Fall into bed... nay, collapse into bed and get ready to start the whole thing over again.

(Oh, and if you're wondering what generally falls through the cracks and doesn't get done. It's cleaning. My house isn't DIRTY per se, but clutter.... that is another story.)

Wow, if you made it this far through this whine, I'm impressed. Okay. I've got to go look busy again.

A day in the life of...

You know that day at the office where you have little or nothing to do? It's the kind of day where you have finished all you have to do and it isn't time to start the next big project. A day that's uncluttered and unbusy. It feels refreshing and a bit naughty when you can just look busy for the day but actually accomplish very little, right? Now imagine that all day, every day. When that lack of productivity defines your job, it can really wear on you and make you feel useless.

I have always prided myself in doing a good job and being known for doing a good job. I like making my bosses look good by creating the best presentation or planning the best meeting with all the little touches that make it one step above what is expected. The problem is, now I don't have a good job to do but I still have to come to the office every day and pretend. I have a few things that I do everyday. It's just basic busy work that makes the office run smoothly, but with the new system in place, I am not necessary at all, really. That realization kind of messes with my perception of who I am as an employee. I want to be busy. I need to be needed at work.

Now, I don't define myself by my job and I don't get my self-worth from it, either. Still, my parents instilled in me a certain work ethic. That work ethic states that you work for what you earn and you always give 100%. The problem now is there is nothing for me to give that 100% to. It bothers me that I have time to kill most all day every day. I feel guilty, honestly, that I am here, getting paid for being a warm body in my chair.

I have been with this company for eight years so I do feel a sense of loyalty to them. They are an amazing company to work for. They're not perfect, but as far as how they treat employees overall, most people have no major complaints. That includes me. I feel sad that my time with them is coming to an end. I guess I should look at this year is kind of my farewell tour. Let's just hope it's not like the never-ending Cher Farewell Tour where by the end people are just saying "get out, already!"

There are some days you should just get a do-over

Yesterday was that day.

It started out as any other day starts out... I was running late. Now, generally this is my own doing and yesterday was no exception. I'm just not good with mornings and sometimes find myself sitting on my bed or on the couch or sometimes just standing and not moving for minutes on end. It's like someone hit a pause button.

I made it to work *just* in time and that is where the day started to go wrong. It wasn't wrong because I was at work, but because the powers that be gave me a two-day project and less than 24 hours to get it designed/corrected, supplies to print and bind it, and overnighted to the appropriate locations.

Here's what happened: Wednesday, The Boss walks into my office and states that he has a presentation that needs to be finished, printed and overnighted for delivery on Friday. I immediately ordered supplies from our new Office Supply Company (OSC) so I would have what I needed. Now, generally, The Boss is pretty good about getting me stuff in advance, so I figured I would have the final approved draft by fairly early Thursday morning, early afternoon at the latest. At 11:00 he calls to say that they haven't started working on it yet but that he'll call me when they've approved it. Hours go by... OSC still hasn't delivered office supplies, The Boss hasn't called. AAARRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

Panic starts to set in a bit. I make some phone calls to see where the office supplies are... Customer Service assures me they'll be to me within the hour. Called The Boss and got no answer so I left a message. An hour and a half goes by and still no office supplies, but finally got a call from one of the other Boss-type people saying that it was almost complete, would I make these changes, but don't print it yet because it isn't fianl yet.

By this time, it's 3:30. I get off work at 4:30. I finally get final approval at 3:35 to print. It's a 30 page presentation and I have many, many copies to print and bind. At 4:00 I asked my co-worker to go get paper from OSC, he got back, I got started printing and life sorta started looking okay again.

(Yes, I did get it all done and shipped, by the way.)

Through it all, I kept thinking, It's Miss A's birthday, I have to call her. Finally, at 8:37 last night (after work and school and everything was done and I had a second) I called A and asked if Miss A was still up. She was just going to bed, so I got to say goodnight and happy birthday all at once. The day, through all the stresses and trials ended on a happy note. Except... I can't believe she's five!! So, here's a few favorite pics of Miss A...