Thursday, July 26, 2007

The stupid things people ask

Someone I know got married recently. She had been a "I'm not ever going to marry anyone" -type person until she met her now husband. I'm happy for her. I saw pictures of the wedding and it was beautiful, simple, elegant, and exactly what she wanted. While she and I were talking, another person there actually turned to me and asked me why I am not married. Yes, someone I barely know actually looked at me and uttered the words, "Well, why aren't you married?" (Which is just as bad as the ones I usually get asked: "When are you getting married?" or "Are you ever going to get married?")

I was absolutely dumb-struck that she would ask me that question. And how do you answer a question like that without sounding hostile or bitter or angry? I can't say it's because no one has asked, because at one point, I was engaged. I can't say because I don't want to be because that isn't true. I simply told her that I just haven't found the right person.

Still, why would anyone even ask a question like that? It is almost like she was saying to me, "Hey, are you a total loser that can't find and keep a man?"Or, in this day and age, "Do you like girls?" The answer to both questions would be a firm NO.

I don't feel like a total loser by not being married. Quite honestly, 99.95% of the time it doesn't bother me that I'm not married. I can't say it never bothers me. There is that .05% of the time that I wonder if it is something I've done or if it is something about me that I haven't met my "Mr. Right," but in general, I am happy with my life and my friends and family just as it is. As for liking girls, well, that is something I just have never understood, never will claim to understand and, quite frankly, I'm just not going there.

I look at it this way, I'm 36 and I've never been divorced.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

A new day.... a new blog.

Since the other blog was all about the wedding and getting ready for it, I decided to start all over.

The title pretty much sums up how I feel about being a grown up. Sometimes it amazes me that I'm closer to 40 than 20 now, but time marches on. I really am an awful grown-up. I would do much better, I sometimes think, if someone still told me what to do and how to do it like when I was a kid. But, if I remember correctly, when I was a kid, I resented being told what to do and how to do it. And so that is the dichotomy of life: Kids want to be adults, rushing headlong into the adult world and all that that entails, while adults wish life were "simple" like when they were kids and strive endlessley to hold on to youth and all the things that that world entails.

I am not really trying to hold on to my youth ... although I do plan to fight the signs of aging tooth and nail (moisturize, moisturize, moisturize and wear sunscreen!!) ... I just really suck at being a grown-up with all the bill paying and the working and the day-to-day stuff that being a grown-up means you have to do.

I guess for those who read my old blog, I should update what happened..... P got married to M. They went to Fiji for their honeymoon. Live in California and are very happy. I can't believe it has been a year already since they got married, but alas, time flies. And no, I didn't go out there and meet a great single guy at the wedding. Actually, I worked my butt off helping P get ready for the wedding for the week prior. The wedding was beautiful. The reception was full of life and excitement. Step-monster didn't create any scenes at the (or events leading up to the) wedding. All-in-all, everyone was very well behaved. A beautiful wedding in a beautiful vinyard. Happily ever after.......

What has been going on with me.... well, not much and a whole bunch. I no longer share a house with roomie.... she's ex-roomie now. It was strange, she stopped talking to me in November, moved in with her parents and was very hostile toward me. I got the heck out of Dodge (no offense to my family members who actually DO live in Dodge) as soon as my lease was up. Funny thing is, she actually got mad at me for moving out! She hadn't spoken a civil word to me since November and was pissy when I said I was moving out. I don't know. She hasn't spoken to me since. End of that chapter, I guess.

I now have a great apartment that I share with my "guys" (two cats) and we are relatively happy. Well, I'm happy and since the guys know where I sleep and they haven't smothered me in my bed, I'm assuming they are happy.

I'm still in court reporting school. I have gotten to the next speed level, so I'm closer to my goal. (Please don't ask when I'll be getting out of school.... I don't know.) Still working for the same company.

Still not dating anyone. Gave up on eHarmony. And that is basically my life for the past year in a really quick nutshell.