Thursday, July 26, 2007

The stupid things people ask

Someone I know got married recently. She had been a "I'm not ever going to marry anyone" -type person until she met her now husband. I'm happy for her. I saw pictures of the wedding and it was beautiful, simple, elegant, and exactly what she wanted. While she and I were talking, another person there actually turned to me and asked me why I am not married. Yes, someone I barely know actually looked at me and uttered the words, "Well, why aren't you married?" (Which is just as bad as the ones I usually get asked: "When are you getting married?" or "Are you ever going to get married?")

I was absolutely dumb-struck that she would ask me that question. And how do you answer a question like that without sounding hostile or bitter or angry? I can't say it's because no one has asked, because at one point, I was engaged. I can't say because I don't want to be because that isn't true. I simply told her that I just haven't found the right person.

Still, why would anyone even ask a question like that? It is almost like she was saying to me, "Hey, are you a total loser that can't find and keep a man?"Or, in this day and age, "Do you like girls?" The answer to both questions would be a firm NO.

I don't feel like a total loser by not being married. Quite honestly, 99.95% of the time it doesn't bother me that I'm not married. I can't say it never bothers me. There is that .05% of the time that I wonder if it is something I've done or if it is something about me that I haven't met my "Mr. Right," but in general, I am happy with my life and my friends and family just as it is. As for liking girls, well, that is something I just have never understood, never will claim to understand and, quite frankly, I'm just not going there.

I look at it this way, I'm 36 and I've never been divorced.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Just know that the same people who are asking you about being married are nosing in on why I don't have children. I love that they've started asking how long we've been married because apparently, there is also a time limit on length of marriage before children that I didn't know about untl recently.