Monday, August 20, 2007

Digesting Bad News

It is strange how I still see my grandparents as young and active when in reality they aren't so young or active any more. Granddaddy B's 87th birthday was August 17, Grandmother B will be 85 in November. My other grandparents are all in their 80s. When did they get old? I don't seem to remember it happening, but it appears they have.

Last week, Grandmother called my aunt and uncle to come from Oklahoma. They came expecting to see Granddaddy B in the hospital when instead, Grandmother was. As Grandmother was discharged, Granddaddy had bloodwork done and was told to go to the hostpital in Amarillo immediately.

Grandmother had had another "spell" with her heart (she has congestive heart failure and has for what seems years) and she was in the hospital for about a week. Grandmother will have a pacemaker implanted sometime this week. She and my Aunt J and sister A met with the surgeon this morning.

I talked to Grandmother last Tuesday and she told me in her sugar-coated way that Granddaddy was in the hospital, but he was "fine" and would be "fine." As I got more information and the week wore on, it seems he's not really "fine" and it has been a bit hard to come to terms with.

Granddaddy had a mild stroke which has led to a diagnosis of ALS... Now, there is some waffling on the diagnosis at this point (as I understand it, diagnosing ALS is more a matter of ruling things out as opposed to finding an actual disease process). But, as of this morning, my Aunt J said that most likely that is the diagnosis. The doctors are just saying it is "bad"... there "is no cure"... typical doctor-ese. So, now it is just a matter of planning and preparing for things no one ever wants to plan or prepare for.

I spent a lot of the weekend crying and finally accepting the fact that my grandparents, no matter how much I want them to be, are not immortal.

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