I realize I don't blog as often as I should. Well, maybe should is too strong of a word. How about, I don't blog as often as I would like to.
Sometimes I start an entry only to abandon it after a paragraph or two. Why? I don't know. Sometimes it is because the information in it is too personal and I am just not comfortable with the whole world knowing some things about my life... that being said, I realize my readership is limited to a few family members and they likely know about the stuff anyway. Sometimes it is because it makes no sense to anyone but me. Some entries tend to read like a stream of consiousness exercise from creative writing class with no real focus or punctuaton to speak of and lack of punctuation drives me batty.
So, I guess it comes down to, what is the purpose of my blog? To be honest, I don't know. I wish it were more like my sister's blog. She has a much more interesting life than I have. Or maybe I should focus more onthe cats. No, they don't do much of anything of interest although I wish I had the life of my cats. They're pretty pampered. Maybe I should write about my daily struggle with depression. That tends to go to the too personal side again. Besides, it might make my mother worry too much if I wrote some of the things I think about. (NO, I am not suicidal or homicidal or anything like that.... depression is just dark and I tend to be dark a lot of the time.)
I guess it all boils down to, I want to -- feel a need to -- define how this blog is going to go. I guess in a lot of ways, I need to define my life and how my life is going to go. That whole grown-up thing again. Gee, I really suck at being a grown-up.
4 comments:
1) Write whatever you want to write and whenever you want to write it and to hell with everyone else. I have a really hard time with that because I feel there are "expectations" and because I want the comments. When I don't get them, I have to remember that oh, yeah, in the end this is for *me* to use as a chronicle of my life and to share just a few things with those around me. I've written some really personal things and not posted them because it needed to be written but it didn't need to be shared. Other personal things, I've felt OK sharing even though I got comments/calls afterwards that weren't exactly what I was hoping for but probably what I needed (ouch!).
2) Um, yeah, my life really isn't that interesting. Those long stretches without posting? Nothing interesting happening then. And for Pete's sake, I've posted a picture of my fridge and random blatherings about whether I'm sick or it's allergies. Truly fascinating things. Next up: what's for lunch?
3) I like reading what you write. I think it's often a way to get more personal than a phone call. (Does that make sense?)
Isn't everyone's life more interesting than your own? And as you said in #3, it is more personal than a phone call and the way you write even makes "what's for lunch" funny and interesting.
Would you be more comfortable if I didn't read your blog? I could tell you I'll quit, but you know that would just mean that I wouldn't comment and in essence lie to you. I do worry about you, but no more or less than I worry about Amy (she is raising my grandchildren) and Carrie (who hasn't given me grandchildren but we won't go there). So see you aren't alone --- Just write. Share or not --- you tend to post darker things than Carrie, but you deal with life in a different way --and that is OK. Love you
Well, the only reason the posting hasn't been too dark on this end is that it almost feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like, hey, we got things back on track with us, with work, with the company and if I stay really chipper and upbeat, *nothing* bad will happen to me again. This is the world I live in.
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