Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Day 6: I am the Camel

Everyday on my way home or to work I pass a pasture with a herd of buffalo and a single camel. Since the camel showed up a few months ago, I've found it a little funny that there is a camel in a pasture with buffalo mere blocks from a herd of Texas longhorns. (Only in Texas, huh!)

Shortly after the camel came I started making up stories about the camel and the buffalo herd as I drove by. Often in the stories, the camel felt left out and alone because he is different. Depending on the day (and how close the camel was to the buffalo that day) the camel and buffalo became friends or he continues to feel left out and alone.

Today, I realized how much the camel I am. In most settings I don't feel I fit in or that I stick out in the crowd. I am on the fringes or outside totally -- or at least feel I am. Even with my family I feel that way. Maybe especially with my family. As the only one not married, I often am fringe... not because my family makes me feel that way deliberately, but just because I don't have anything in common with them part of the time.

In social settings, I never feel I fit in. I am actually really shy in public situations and I'm afraid to talk to people I don't know. So, I stand on the outside looking in much like the camel standing in the field with the buffalo.

So tomorrow I'll drive by the field, see the camel and make up a story about him. Maybe tomorrow he'll make friends with the buffalo. Maybe he'll be on the other side of the pasture alone. Who knows. We'll see what tomorrow holds.


Carrie said...

I'm either the Camel or end up really over-compensating and become the Obnoxious Camel. I'm not sure which is better. I'm still working on finding that happy medium.

(I write this after a JLA Board meeting where I still don't feel like I "belong"--not that I shouldn't be there because I'm not capable, just don't fit in with the crowd.)

Erica said...

Ugh I hate being the camel. But I figure if there's one in every situation...well might as well make the best of it. Plus...maybe being the Camel means that you're the one everyone is going to remember :)